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In every school class there are two to three children who often to always feel lonely. Even as early as primary school. This is the conclusion drawn by researchers from the Verwey-Jonker Institute and Utrecht University, commissioned by Kinderpostzegels. What can we do about it together?

Being bullied or excluded, being under pressure at school, having no one around you who supports you unconditionally: loneliness is an emotion that deeply affects children. It affects their sense of happiness and causes mental and physical problems.

This is shown by research conducted by Utrecht University and the Verwey-Jonker Institute, commissioned by Kinderpostzegels. The study combined knowledge from literature and interviews with experts and children with data from over 6,000 children and adolescents from the ‘Jong na corona’ study by Utrecht University and the Trimbos Institute.

From an early age

Loneliness among young people had already received increased attention in recent years. For the first time, loneliness has now been studied more extensively among a large, representative group of children in groups 6, 7 and 8 of primary school. Among them, too, loneliness was found to be a major problem. As many as 1 in 10 children often to always feel lonely. That means there are two or three children in every primary school class who feel lonely. These children rate their lives significantly lower: a 6.6 instead of the 8.3 with which other children rate their lives. As major causes, the study cites (online) bullying, being under pressure at school and lack of support in the environment. Often, social media and gaming are also mentioned as causes of problems among children and young people. The study shows that social media and gaming can be problematic for some children, but can actually help against loneliness for others.

Major consequences

Long-term loneliness often has far-reaching consequences, now and later. For instance, loneliness can lead to mental problems such as anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Loneliness also frequently causes problems at school. Relationships with peers and teachers can deteriorate, as can learning performance. In addition, loneliness often has physical consequences. For instance, children who feel lonely sleep worse and go to the doctor more often.

Sofie Vriends, director of Kinderpostzegels is shocked by the scale and severity of the problem. ‘That so many young children feel lonely is very worrying. Especially since we already know what the long-term consequences can be. Loneliness undermines the strong foundation every child needs. And that can last a lifetime.’

Recommendations

What can we do together to combat loneliness? The researchers, in consultation with experts and children themselves, make recommendations for this.

Firstly, it is important that adults - parents, carers and professionals such as teachers - are aware of the problem and learn more about it. Importantly, for example, you cannot always see loneliness. A child who is alone a lot need not feel lonely. And a child who seems to have many friends may well be lonely.

Besides: you don't solve loneliness just by focusing on individual help. It is better to see loneliness as something that belongs to all of us. After all, it is all about the interaction between people: seeing each other, accepting differences. A positive classroom climate is a good example of how group dynamics can contribute to less loneliness.

Finally, the taboo around loneliness needs to be broken. By talking about it, at home and at school. And by helping adults and children to do so.

Loneliness is a hollow feeling inside. That no one sees you and talks to you, like you don't exist' - Luna (10)

What does Kinderpostzegels?

As client of the research, Kinderpostzegels is also looking at what it can do as an organisation against loneliness. Sofie Vriends: ‘It is good that we now have hard figures on this important topic and specifically for this age. Loneliness is always an important issue for us. So many of our projects focus on building networks around children. Think of the Mockingbird project, where foster families and children receive broad support. Or Playing for Success, where children strengthen their self-confidence in groups. Also through our various buddy projects, we ensure that children are not left alone.’

According to Sofie Vriends, the research also highlights the urgency of paying much more attention to loneliness among children. ‘Kinderpostzegels takes up the recommendation to break the taboo around loneliness. Talking about it at an early age, at home and at school, is incredibly important. We want to help children, parents and teachers to do so. Kinderpostzegels also joins the National Coalition against Loneliness. This way, we can draw attention to childhood loneliness and work together on solutions.’